Spent time away from all commotion and unnecessary occupations to get my thought in oder because I needed to be alone, being a social butterfly it was hard for me to take a breather and be. ...... alone, couldn't push those I love to have this cold breeze my mind is lusting for but I could be absent in their chaos to have an affair with silence. Finally succeeded in eluding all crowds to found What they named "peace of mind and solitude " .
Time passed relationships dried of I cared a bit less, well not enough to get me fighting with all in have to make them survive anyway, because deep down I was seduced by something similar to what I was holding on to. but it was more mysterious, cold, darker than summer and filled with the most colourful spectrum silence could offer, slowly and willingly my music changed, my thoughts became deep, my sense was different from the world, darkness felf safer and pain seemed to have pleasure, I became misunderstood, unable to convey depth to a happy world that started to seem like it was shallow and pointless.
Then people started speaking of words like love, happiness, missing and needing affection and when I looked at two people holding hand I longed for it too but didn't have the energy to play Russian roulette with my heart . will she get me, will she love me, will we work out arghhhhh!!!!!! Tooo many semantics and dynamics have become the essence of this and in can't handle it so I go home to my square four walls and make a few calls.,.,.,. The calls are cold now, I am finally alone now!
Fuck I'm lonely!
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